I feel bad. I fell head over heels in love again(w/a coworker too),and I'm paying the price for it as usual. I thought he was the 1,but all I get is excuses or nothing at all when we plan to hang out. He says he wants to hang out; LIKES hanging out w/me,but he sure has a funny way of showing it. I was so DEPRESSED yesterday, I didn't wanna go to work and when I did get to work,and I spent the whole day moping around. I was angry, then depressed,then angry,but mostly depressed. I finally ended up crying a few times and much to my horror, I was caught. My coworkers kept asking Ed if I was ok and when I took my break, I let down my hair, put my head down and sobbed for a while. Unfortunately, I got caught. Crying that is. 1 of my coworkers came up to me and started rubbing my back and asked me if I was ok. I didn't wanna talk,but she kept asking me what was wrong. I said I didn't wanna talk about it,and she finally left me alone. All of this because I'm not getting any responses from Rob. Ever. 4/5 days now,and nothing from him. Then I got home last,and messaged my best friend on facebook telling her what happened. She reminded that I had sworn off dating coworkers again(yeah, well I wasn't counting on falling in love w/1 again either.)and while she was talking 2 me and giving me reasons as to y I shouldn't date coworkers,she also reminded me that sometimes Rob doesn't get my texts and told me if I really wanna stay friends or anything w/him, I need ot just call him,or stop by his house.
I think I'll do that. I don't know Y I didn't do that in the 1st place. Especially on Sunday when we were supposed to hang out. I spend most of my time texting him because usually I'm at work,and it's easier to sneak texting than it is to actually get on the ph but when I got off work, y DIDN'T I call him? I was so busy getting upset over that, I never DID call him. Maybe I shouldn't give up JUST yet. I think later on when I get out of school(assuming he's not working),I'll give him a call like I should have done from the beginning. Even last time when he had fallen asleep, I did wake him up by calling him. I should do that. I don't know Y I didn't do that before instead of getting upset. I KNEW I had been over thinking this somehow, which is y I didn't wanna tell any1 what was wrong w/me yesterday. Even Ed gave me his ph # and email and told me I can call or email him anytime I feel the need 2 talk. I told him it was stupid what I'm upset over and that I'm prolly over thinking things. I get like that when I'm in love. 1 of the billions of reasons I hate falling in love. It took my best friend talking to me; telling me I should call or drop by his house...or just let him go, for me to think clearer. She's RIGHT! I HAVEN'T called him,and I prolly should. I've heard rumors that he either got fired,or just got pissed off at some1 and walked out. He may not be going back 2 work. I wanna talk 2 him,and find out what happened. Now that I've had time to get over most of my hurt feelings, I will try 1 more time to reach out to him but if he still ignores me and wants nothing 2 do w/me, THEN I will give up. I can't give up on him JUST yet. I gatta try 1 more time...this time by a PHONE CALL.
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