I miss u EVERYDAY!

It's been 5 months now and even though I have learned to live without u, I've finally stopped crying at the drop of a hat,and my mental anguishes have eased up on me..
I still miss you.
Not 1 day.
Not 1 hour.
Not 1 minute.
Not even 1 second goes by..
that I don't miss u with a terrible ache deep down in my heart;deep down into the very depths of my soul.
I miss you like a child misses his/her dog after it passes away-
I miss you like a mother who's children are taken away.
I miss you like one misses the sun when the sky turns black.
I miss you like a friend who has moved away.
I miss you like a baby misses the mother when she is not near.
I miss you like lungs that are starved for air.
I miss you like a dog misses it's owner until he gets home.
How many more simillies would it take to do the justice my heart is trying to pour out?
I love you
and I MISS you!
You're gone forever,but my love for you will never die..
so I continue to miss you..
and be reminded of you through the silliest little details life presents.
I may not be crying on the outside anymore,but on the inside..
I'm still dying!
I lost my best friend, AND I lost the love of my life all at once.
I feel hollow now.
There is a really HUGE hole in my heart that was reserved f
or u,and u alone.
Losing u has punched out that hole,and I can't fill it-
because only U can fill it,and ur gone now.
I try to turn my mind to other things and maybe..
possibly someday be open to meeting another guy,but...
nobody will be like YOU-
nobody will be YOU.
it won't be the same at all.
I am not sure if I can ever find that kind of happiness again.
I miss you so much!
I miss my other half/my partner-in-crime.
I just miss you!
A million times over...

I
MISS
YOU!

To My Idiot Coworker:

1. PLEASE be aware that the world DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND U!!! I know it's HARD 2 wrap ur pea-sized mind around,but.... I promise u, it definitely DOES NOT! so stop irritating all ur coworkers because we are soooo sick of it! it's not just ME! we are ALL sick of ur shit! even ROB never liked u,and he's been dead for 4 months now. this just goes 2 show HOW LONG u've been a problem! the managers do not find u impressive; they are starting 2 see right thru ur phony act, so stop kissing ass/being a suck up. it's not "cool"-it's PATHETIC! it's not cool 2 stick ur nose into other ppl's business,and criticize their work while u abandon ur own. it's not cool 2 threaten 2 go 2 management on some1 just because they don't do what U want. You're 51 years old! u NEED 2 ACT like it! u act like a spoiled child who's pissed off he didn't get his way. take ur breaks when u r SUPPOSED 2. don't wait 10 hours later 2 go 2 break! it's not fair 2 me or 2 any1else 2 have 2 go search the whole store for u JUST 2 ask u if u took ur break before we can take ours, and it CERTAINLY isn't our responsibility! if u weren't being such a suck up, u wouldn't miss ur breaks! ur an ADULT! U r responsible for ur OWN breaks! not the rest of us!

   
   

   if u don't get ur break for 6 hours/8 hrs, that is UR fault! not mine; not any1 else's. stop sticking ur nose in other ppl's business; depts u do NOT work in,and stop trying 2 get me 2 do the same thing while abandoning ur OWN work,and..our fellow coworker. It is NOT fair 2 her 2 shirk ALL the responsibility on HER. U might do that shit,but I don't. if u don't like it..tough shit! I was hired for MAINTENANCE(and btw,so were U!),and MAINTENANCE is what I'm going 2 do! unless a MANAGER tells me otherwise,I am NOT working in another area. I am ESPECIALLY not gonna take orders from U! u r just a PEE ON! u are on MY level. u r NOT in ANY way shape or form my BOSS! u r NOT a manager,and u BETTER remember that! I do NOT have 2 answer 2 U! so u better stop while ur ahead, because u r pissing off A LOT of ppl,and u seem 2 also be trying shit w/the MANAGERS! r u an IDIOT?!

   
   

   r u TRYING 2 lose ur job??! coz if u don't stop w/the CRAP, u will eventually be fired. I hope they DO fire ur ass coz quite frankly, I'm sick of ur shit,and so is everybody else! oh and by the way...when I walk away from u-not once. not twice. 10 times maybe..u need 2 take a hint that I DO NOT WANT U AROUND ME! I am trying not 2 go off on u,but dammit if u don't stop following me; stop HARASSING me, I will be ur worst nightmare. so please take a HINT,and LEAVE-ME. ALONE! sincerely,ur very annoyed, ready 2 kick u in the "balls", coworker. >.<

Mental Anguishes

I have soooo many of them. I've always had mental anguishes of some sort,but I've never felt THIS bad before. I feel like I need 2 be locked away in an asylum. Like, I need 2 have the most professional therapy money can buy; what is most expensive in therapy. I swear puberty and being a teenager NEVER compared 2 how I feel now..how I've been feeling for years-how I've been feeling for 4 months now. Ever since I lost my boyfriend,everything else made a turn for the worst too. I have a coworker who's a total ASSHOLE(he was always a "know-it-all" before,but this time he's worse-more bossy and arrogant than ever!), I am battling 2 have a christian faith. I wish I had it like other christians do. I have enough faith 2 fear for my eternity,but not enough to feel any peace of mind. I feel even more mentally unstable; feel even more forgetful, a.d.d. etc than I've ever been before. I'm full of anger; full of rage' full of hostility. I resent  my boyfriend being dead when most other couples still have THEIR "other half." I resent always being stuck working in retail. I resent never having control of my time; control of my life. I resent not having any USEFUL talents/skills. I resent so much and do not know how 2 appreciate what I DO have anymore,and I resent that too. Sometimes, I just resent myself. Now, I know how my bf felt. Always feeling useless, stupid, wondering y I am even here,wishing I would just die at times, etc. I feel as if my boyfriend's anxieties/depression moved into ME when he died. I hate feeling so damn lonely,yet wanting no1 around me at the same time. It's a shitty feeling 2 have. =(