Monday, April 20, 2015

For Rob

why do I keep thinking of u so often? I don't wanna do that anymore.
I gatta finally lay u to rest,but ur memories "haunt" me.
I keep trying to move on,but I'm always thinking about u and running into people or situations that remind me of u.
I meet people with a new england accent or are patriots fans like u were.
I read things online that talk about true love and the perfect guy..all things with which u were and I had with u.
I have a new crush right now,but whenever I daydream about him, u quickly come back to mind.
Most of the time,I'm fine and have gotten used to ur forever absence from my life..
but then before I know it, u have crossed my mind this time in particular,and I start to miss u all over again and have to fight back tears.
u were my everything; our relationship was amazing.
We truly had true love. something our generation rarely ever sees in this crappy modern world.
please let me move on? we are separated forever.
I don't wanna continue being depressed and feeling the void of ur absence.
Just rest in peace,and let me LIVE in peace.
I love u,but I got to let u go.
I will never forget u my love..

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

you've been gone for nearly 2 years,and I'm still writing poetry about u. I miss u. =,(

the pain never quite goes away. u can bury it deep and knock it unconscious,but u never can really destroy it.
it always come back. when u least expect it..w/a vengeance. ur under the illusion that time has helped u 2 accept he's gone,
but it's only a matter of time before ur thinking about him again,and remembering ur time together and wishing he was still here.
the pain consumes u before u know it.
ur missing him again and wanting to die because living w/the pain is exhausting and stressful and sheer torture. u want him back all the time.
but u can never have him back.
u accept that he's never coming back,and numb ur mind to his loss.
sometimes u numb urself so well that it feels like u made him up. or at the very least, u feel like ur relationship was made up and sometimes even wonder if he even existed to begin w/.
then u start to feel sad because u feel like u are betraying him w/ur desperate attempt to forget him just to ease the pain.
it isn't long before ur driving by his old place or see or hear something else that reminds u of him,and the memories bombard u and remind u that he WAS real. he DID exist and so is the fact that u were indeed a couple,and it's real all over again,and u miss him all over again.
the grief starts all over,and the whole vicious cycle is back. u miss him so much,u feel the stabbing pain in ur heart all over again; the hole in ur heart that was never filled.
only patched over for a while. ur once again trying not 2 curse God for taking him.
u know that no other man will be as good for u or love u like he did;
u know u won't be able to love another man as much as u loved him.
it's a vicious cycle of come and go pain that u know u will live w/for the rest of ur life coz
the memories r forever imprinted in ur mind. true love truly never dies even when ur TRUE LOVE does.