I wish I just..KNEW!!

so...a few months ago, I finally start college something I have been wanting to do for YEARS. After 3 in a half years of wasting my life away in retail and feeling my soul get slowly sucked out,I finally got pissed off @ my job and took my GED test1 more time and finally passed and went STR8 to college! Ok so I had plans of ignoring all ELSE including GUYS! All I wanted 2 do was focus on getting my degree and increasing my earning power and basically "soar w/the eagles" instead of constantly being dragged down by a bunch of "turkeys" lol so i accomplish all that and know for sure I wanna get my degree,even had plans 2 go back up north coz 4 years ago when I was there,I discovered the ppl and atmosphere r just so much better than down here. Right?

All beautiful plans and what not! and then...I met HIM! The cutest and sweetest guy I have ever met in 4 years lol Right there in my class! Um fate?? What part of I did NOT wanna notice guys and just wanna focus SOLELY on my degree DID U NOT GET?!! >.<  Anywho this guy started talking 2 ME 1st!! it started w/asking me 2 share a book(he totally made me jump a mile coz out of nowhere he just walks up 2 me and asks if I can share my book w/him AND he used my name which kinda freaked me out coz it was only the 1st or 2nd day of school! wow he learned my name FAST!)


So it was little STUPID things like this I kept noticing. OK 1st was learning my name and picking ME out of every1 ELSE to share a stupid book w/! then I ran into him in da LIBRARY 2! mind u we were not really well aquainted yet and he REMEMEBERD me!! I didn't remember who he was @ 1st myself. He was wearing shades and sitting so still so I kinda figured he was asleep or something which he wasn't lol He suddenly nods 2 me and says "Good morning" AGAIN I nearly jump thru the roof lol I was getting kinda freaked out coz like I said I didn't recognize him@ 1st lol I nearly asked him who he was and right I was about to ask I finally remembered who he was lol Then after that it seemed like I ran into him ALL THE TIME!! He asked me if I started getting my hours in da ARC lab(some stupid thing required for our class they makes u do lol) and I had forgotten about that,but when I started doing that AGAIN there he was!! He kept coming in there around the same time as me AND he always sat w/me! w/ME!! He seemed kinda anti-social in the beginning! I never saw him talk to any1else(and that's if he ever talked at all) and he sure as hell didn't remember any1ELSE'S names in there! Not for MONTHS! and he learned MINE damn near the 1st day of class lol

He still wouldn't talk much in the beginning-just listended to his music! yet he always sat w/ME when he COULD have sat by himself which clearly it looked 2 me like some1 like him would want to do. I don't get it! why ME??? so I wondered for a long time if the guy liked me. Then-it TOTALLY BACKFIRED on me! While I was questioning if this guy liked me-I ended up liking HIM!! -_- That was NOT supposed 2 happen!! why me?? lol Anyways I found myself hanging out w/him all the time, and as much as possible, and we had this stupid little but OBVIOUS bond going on btw us! lol


As usual he talked more to ME than any1else. I pretty much got him to myself alot! =) He even let me listen 2 his music(even tho I didn't ask him to) he simply scrolled thru a list of songs looking for the 1 he wanted and then at the last second looks at me and says, "ok I'll share this w/u" Mind u I NEVER.ASKED. lol It was cute I have 2 admit! Haha even stupid things like the time I had string in my hair(I never knew it) and he reached over and pulled it out of my hair 4 me! so adorable ^_^ Then it went to me running into him when I cut thru the cafeteria 2 get 2 my next class and BOY WHAT A SMILE!! AHHHH!! ^_^ he looked so surprised yet so damn HAPPY 2 have run into me the same as I had when running into HIM! so we both grinned like iditos and said hi in passing! DAMN that was ADORABLE!! ^_^ <3 I really love his smile and I love how I can make him laugh lol Ok enough about that! You'll be here all day reading this,if I tell u EVERYTHING! Point is I wonder if the guy likes me or if he's JUST simply a NICE GUY! coz he is! He's a gentleman,and 1 to every1 not just me! But sometimes I feel kinda singled out w/his niceness and I love it! ^_^

Anyways that was back in the spring,now it's summer and of course I'm still in class but he isn't. I freaking miss him so much! Altho I did get to see him at his job a few times-haha u can't get away from me that easily =P =D lol I dunno if he likes me or not or even if he STILL likes me(assuming he really did b4) I iz confused coz I dunno if he does for sure or not and I don't wanna be the 1 2 ask! I get humiliated easily when this sorta thing! Not eager to take that burn again! =( so we pose the simple question yet unknown/complicating answer: Does he like me or does he not?? LOL

what happens when u fall asleep @ school lol

ok so I made the idiotic mistake of taking an antiobiotic on an empty stomach(altho I thought a glass of v8 AND a reeses stick was enough on my stomach-guess not) so by the time I got to school just as I was sitting down and starting on my work,I started feeling like I was gonna hurl. Sometimes I feel like especially when I'm tired and can usually burp a few times and/or close my eyes for a few seconds or min and then I feel fine,but not this time. I still kept feeling like I would puke and it just kept getting stronger so I had to leave class and get a few sips of water even go stand in the bathroom for a bit just incase. Well I went back 2 class and still felt bad so I finally gave up and left b4 I could totally embarass myself by getting sick in class. Anywho so I left and I didn't have a cell ph on me plus Mom had her class which was 2 hrs so I had to hang around school and went str8 to the library and did what every1else in that school does-SLEEP! I slept in the library and it didn't seem like I had a very deep sleep but I guess I did bcoz I had 2 dreams during that time lol


Ok so the 1st dream I had was about the guy I like lol! It was kinda funny coz in the dream I actually had my own pic up on twitter instead of the diff 1 I have now, and the guy I like ALSO had twitter. Ok I made a post asking how u talk to the guy u like or something and fortunately I was careful not to mention his name,however he commented on that tweet. It was a twitter acc w/his pic up so I knew it was him and the comment said something like "just trying talking to the guy" or something like that. It totally made me nervous and crap a brick lol even in the dream I didn't know he had twitter lol I also felt busted and wondered if he knew that HE was the 1 I was talking about.

Ok weird dream lol Then the 2nd 1 I had was a dream about trying to get out of the mall b4 they closed lol because all the stores were closing the doors and locking them fast and me and a few other ppl were rushing to get out of there and kept getting locked in and having to take back exits and everything else! ok so that was just WEIRD. But I find it funny lol

so there u have it. u fall asleep n school and fall 2 deeply u have strange dreams. fortunately as far as I know I never talked in my sleep or anything or that would have been embarassing lol on the plus side after my long nap I no longer felt nauseous and in fact I was HUNGRY lol hmmm so a good friend of mine also sleeps in the library alot-I wonder if he ever dreamt alot too? I can't wait till the fall when he comes back and I can pick on him. MUAHAHAHA!! =D

HAPPY 4TH EVERY1!!! now let's go blow stuff up!! =)

I realize it's been forever and a day since my last blog thingy- but don't worry-I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack! my last blog was about getting my ged(or jed as mark likes to calls it lol) and well just a few nights ago was my ged graduation lol I am officially in my 2nd semester @ college! which isn't as much fun as my 1st 1 was(especially since a certain guy refused to go to school in the summer-damn him >.<) lol he is awesome by the way, and I hope I get to spend more time getting to know him hehe =D ok so I really like the guy-I bet u woulda never guessed that lol I have been a million x's happier. I no longer work in retail and I'm in college and don't feel my life wasting away so much anymore so it's cool. I'm trying to get my best friend to come over and blow things up w/me haha I'm actually up in the morning on a non school day which is very rare for me lol I am also gonna try to get her here sooner and go to a certain store to bug a certain individual that works there even tho I already bugged this person only a few days ago...heh heh anywhos Happy 4th every1! try not to blow up ur neighbors-unless of course u have1 like the 1 I had @ age 13 who's a total douche and deserves it and even then,make sure u don't get caught lol