daaaaaaayum, I do believe I have found him at LAST!! =0

we have the best conversations.
we love being in each other's company.
I can be crabby sometimes,but he still sticks by my side; he still likes me.
we always make each other laugh.
we listen to each other bitch and kinda comfort each other.
I feel like I can talk to him about anything.
I feel like I can trust him even tho I keep telling myself I probably shouldn't.
I went from scowling when I see couples,to smiling and getting butterflies from imagining that being US!
he smokes which I hate,but I'm willing to put up w/that just to have him around.
there have been so many times the things I've said or done should have chased him off,but he hangs around anyway.
 the best part is like yesterday...some asshole decided to rat us out to management because we talk to each other. trying to claim we don't get our work done,and all we do is socialize..he got just as pissed off as I did-actually he got even MORE pissed about it than I did!! now I KNOW he loves talking to me as much as I love talking to him. we BOTH got mad for getting in trouble over talking to each other...
like..how DARE u tell me I can't talk to my sweetheart!! he didn't like that either!
I was trying to forget about it,but he was still bitching about it every time we talked. also....while the majority of these accusations were being aimed at ME(of course! it's ALWAYS like that)..he was aware of this too,and he defended me!! I LOVE that!! he has my back! ^_^
it's hard NOT to be in love w/this guy!! he is AMAZING!! ^_^
I love how he makes me feel like I can do no wrong when I'm so used to every1 else making me feel like I can do no right!
I love him,and he seems to love me too!!
then also,last night, he was looking for me and before he walked out to where he could see me,I heard him ask himself, "where my partner in crime?" then I appeared and he goes, "there u r." lol awwwwwww! I was the 1 that started the "partner in crime" saying about us,and he uses it too, now! eeeeeeeeeee! ^_^
I love him! I love him SO. MUCH! ^_^
I think...do I dare say it??...I think I found the right guy AT LAST!! =0

this cracked me up so bad!

I found this on my cousin's(new) wife's facebook! tis HILARIOUS!! oh,and the husband's name is Rob! oh the irony of it all! LMAO!! XD


THE FART THAT (ALMOST) ALTERED MY DESTINY Written by Anna. Posted in Marriage


Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if it's the third date with the man of your dreams. And, if it makes his eyes burn. If God destined us to be together, I was one SBD 

away from foiling His plans (that's "Silent But Deadly" for you prudes).

It was about five years ago. I was trying to lose a few pounds so I was staying away from carbs. That's when I met my husband, Rob. On our first date, he booked the next two. He liked me. I liked him. Things were looking real good.

He picked me up in a Cobra, Mustang and his pathetic attempt to win me over with a car totally worked. I'm not shallow, but since I spent most of my twenties picking men up because I didn't want my hair to frizz in their non-air conditioned jalopies on 3 wheels and a 15 year old spare, I welcomed his fancy sports car with open arms.

We arrived at the restaurant and Rob was ordering food I hadn't allowed myself to eat in years. I didn't want to be "that girl" so I ate, drank, and oh, was I merry. Later we shopped a bit. Rob surprised me by buying an expensive pair of shoes that he caught me eyeing. Was this love?

That's when it happened. Gas strikes in two different ways - uncontrollable toots or sharp, shooting pains that feel a lot like dying. I thought I was dying. Not to make a scene, I told Rob I suddenly wasn't feeling well and probably needed to head home.

On the way home in his Cobra, he tried to hold my hand and ask questions, but I wasn't having any of it. The pain was so bad it felt like I was being stabbed with a bunch of tiny forks. Then I realized ...

My God, help me. I have a horrendous fart on deck. I'm in trouble. Big trouble.

The more I held it in, the more pain would shoot through my stomach and down my legs. I was even having to raise myself off the seat, gripping on to my door and the dashboard.

"Seriously, you need to hurry - I'm in a lot of pain." I managed to say through gritted teeth.

"Wow, it's that bad? What's wrong? Do I need to take you to a hospital?"

How do you tell a man you just started dating that the reason you're writhing in pain is because you have to fart?

Well, you can either tell him, or like me, let the fart speak for itself.

People, hear me. There was nothing I could do. As impressive as I am with sphincter control, this was out of my hands. Slowly, it eeked out. The more I tried to stop it, the more it forced it's way through the door. However, to my pleasant surprise, there was no sound. I sat silently, sweat accumulating above my upper lip. OK, maybe I got away with it. Maybe I'm home free. Then it hit me. Not an idea, a cloud. A horrific, fart cloud. Not in a, "am I smelling something?" sort of way. More like a "is someone dead and rotting in your trunk and am I in hell?" sort of way.

Suddenly, I panicked. "Roll down the windows!" I screamed (yes, I literally screamed it like I was in a horror movie).

"What? Why?" Rob asked, starting to freak out because I was freaking out.

"I can't roll down the windows, unlock it! UNLOCK IT!"

"What's going on?" Rob yells back at me, "Why are you..." then it hit him. I could see it in his eyes. Was it surprise? Horror? Water started to accumulate at the base of his eyelids, "Oh my God, I CAN TASTE IT!" he screamed.

"Roll down the windows!" As I screamed, the toots started to flood out uncontrollably. I scratched and clawed at the window like I was being kidnapped. Rob, unable to see either by fart cloud or panic, kept turning on the windshield wipers instead of unlocking the window.

It was chaos. We were acting like we were under siege by gun fire. We were under siege alright, just not by gun fire.

Finally he was able to hit the right control and he rolled down our windows. We both gulped in fresh air. I was horrified, yet happy to be alive, then remembered I just farted on the man of dreams, then sorta wished I was dead.

We sat silently for the rest of the way home. Although the shooting pains had subsided, I now desperately needed to use the bathroom, in an urgent, explosive kind of way.

He pulled up to my apartment and before he could come to a stop I had already jumped out, "OK thanks for dinner, sorry about the fart, love the shoes!" and ran to my apartment like I was running from the cops.

I burst through my door and ran straight for the bathroom, where I was finally able to unleash and make noises that no one should ever, EVER, hear coming from another person.

Then I heard it. Rob's voice. Right. Outside. My. Bathroom. Door.

"Anna? You left your shoes in my car and your front door was open. Where do you want me to put them?"

"Get away from the door!" I screamed like Reagan from the Exorcist.

"OK, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

*toot* *toot* *splatter* *ungodly noise*

"I'm fine, Rob - just leave the shoes there. I'll call you later okay?"

"Okay, are you sure you're ..."

"I'm fine! Get away from the door!"

This man! I mean, I love him, but take a freakin' hint!

Finally, I heard the front door shut, and the Cobra engine zoom away. I thought that was the last I'd hear from him. I didn't think it was possible to ever see a man again after he screams he can taste your fart after only knowing you for 48 hours.

But, to my surprise, I did. A couple days later, actually. Now we're married and he's laying on the couch while I type this ... "It was your rack that saved you," he just lovingly reminded me.

Well, thank you boobs. You saved us. You saved our destiny.

I am such an emotional TRAIN WRECK!!

I had the best AND the worst day at the same time. I GOT TO HANG W/ROB!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! =D ^_^ I AM SO IN LOVE W/HIM IT'S INSAAAAAAAAANE!!! *squeals* ^_^ I wish I didn't have these issues w/dating n such because I am SO. CLOSE to getting him..I mean I think I have a chance w/him,but I KEEP screwing it up!! =,( >.< I keep trying to keep my feelings a secret,and I can't seem to do that w/o DISCOURAGING HIM!!! he has me all wrong. =,(  It was funny to me for a while about ppl saying we look cute together and such but this time, since we were TOGETHER,it made me cringe. I felt really weird and got a little uptight about it. It was more of a it made me feel awkward,and I felt like my feelings were gonna be exposed,but Rob took it that I find it insulting for some1 to even suggest that.

He kept asking me y I got so upset. =( I was trying to make a joke out of it like I do everything else,but it didn't work. I think I offended him,but I didn't mean to at all. It made me feel so weird. I AM in love w/him,so it freaked me out... a lot! Like someone exposing my secret to him. A secret I'm not yet ready for him to know about. =( Altho...I was very much reminded WHY I LOVE talking to him!! He actually told me he likes hanging out w/me. YAY! ^_^ I may yet be able to tell him my feelings 1 day. I was so afraid he would stop talking to me if I did,and I told him that. not about my feelings but about being teased like that. I told him I was worried it would make things too awkward,and he might not talk to me anymore and then he said, "I could never stop talking to you." AWWWWWW!!! ^_^ Also,while I was getting the trash(since I had to do all of it myself tonight), he started helping me a little. I would pull a bag,and he'd go behind me and put in another,or he'd start pulling them out for me at least. That way he was helping, AND we got to spend some time together. He's so sweet! ^_^ 1 of those times he even got all cute w/me and said, "my lady." or something like that to me. it was so cute! ^_^ I love how he checked the schedule again to see when we were together next. eeeeeeeeeeeeee! ^_^ I love that he does that too,and it isn't JUST me! =)

this came to me at work

As usual I have to pretend I don't care.
 I have to act like my feelings aren't even there.
I have to ignore my heart's crying pleas
of having the man of my dreams
because it is just never meant to be.
Every time I fall for a guy,the world/the universe/every1 does anything and everything to keeps us apart.
I am always forced to be separated from the man I love.
 I'm just so sick of this.
Why can't it EVER be meant to be?
Why must their ALWAYS be roadblocks to my love life; to the happiness I could have w/just 1 man?
I don't understand why this must always be so COMPLICATING?

poem that came to me during class

That girl is in love.
Her head is in the clouds.
She can't stop thinking about him.
Good luck trying to catch her attention
coz she can't focus.
She can't think.
He's always on her mind.
His smile.
His laugh.
His gorgeous dark,eyes.
His pure sweetness.
They all drive her crazy.
She can't think of anything else
because he consumes her brain.
There is no room for other thoughts.
She can't get him out of her head/
She feels like she has finally found her dream man.
She is in love.
Too deep in love to think about much-
only him.