This has been going on for,YEARS. Almost every guy I like is either "too geeky",a "social outcast","too young for me",or in this case-married. I used to have to carry the burden of who I was crushing on back in high school because some of my friends(my best friend included) thought the guy I liked, was a huge dork. a doofus(altho NOW I agree w/them on that 1. LOL) too geeky..etc etc. Then the guy I liked when I moved to IL. was "too young for me." ok so he was still a teenager,and I no longer was-er atleast wouldn't be 1 any longer once my bday came around. ok,so he was a minor and I wasn't anymore. Not like I ever DID anything about it,but I lived w/a bitch who made her soul purpose to tell me how I was being a child molestor,over a CRUSH I was having! >.< (I can never have any of the good guys >.< ) lol now fastforward a few years,and I am crushing on a married man. Yes,I know I have an INSANE crush on him. I can't help that,but I CAN help how I choose to react to it.
He's a celebrity type,and some girl made 2 fan sites on fb for him. I "liked" it,and started talking to her,and all these other girls who r huge fans,and also have huge crushes on him. Big deal. It's not like we're planning his abduction or something. We're JUST talking about him! We're FANS! nothing wrong w/that. LOL I still get some of my friends saying, "wow! ur obsessed w/him." or "u shouldn't keep fantasizing about him like that-he's married." No shit! Do I LOOK like I'm trying to get in bed w/him? Is there some reason u think I'm ACTIVELY trying to make him mine? I look up to and respect the man. Part of respecting him,is respecting his marriage.(I wouldn't go for ANY married man anyway.) I would NEVER try to come between him and his wife. EVER! yet I get certain ppl that seem to think I will,and keep trying to make me feel ashamed for this crush I'm harboring. Just like w/the guy that was minor, 5 yrs ago, I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!!! >=0
As far as I know,it's not even SINFUL what I'm doing. As long as I'm keeping it all IN MY HEAD,what's the harm?? Besides,I think the fansites are a GREAT way for those of us w/a serious crush on him,to vent about it each other;get it out of our system. No harm done. I get SICK of ppl trying to make me feel ashamed or something,just because I have a HUGE CRUSH on a MARRIED man. I will repeat: I am NOT ACTING on it! I just have FANTASIES! u know..ALL IN MY HEAD! I would never stalk this man by any means,and I def wouldn't get up in his face,throw my # at him,squeal, etc etc. especially when he's trying to spend time w/his family,or just do NORMAL stuff. I've heard of fans that DO do shit like that,and that IS disrepectful. THOSE r the fans that should be ASHAMED of themselves. Like I said,I respect this man,so I would never do that to him. I did make a blog a WHIIILE back about Grant Wilson as well.
I had just started watching Ghost Hunters,and it was the beginning of my crush on Grant Wilson,when I wrote it. I said that I was GRATEFUL for this kinda crush,coz the guy I DID like b4 that,had got back w/his old gf. As usual,I never get the guy,so who cares? Because I am crushing on some1 I DON'T know,my feelings will NEVER get involved,plus having this crush made me forget about the other guy. See?? it does me a WORLD of good. so PLEASE,STOP trying to make me feel ASHAMED over my crush! I PROMISE u,it's JUST a PHASE that I will eventually come out of. No harm done. I'd rather find my own true love someday. A love that's MEANT to be mine. I don't wanna steal some1 else's man. I want my OWN. Free and clear. One that loves ME and ONLY me! I'm aware that even IF I stood a chance w/this man,I wouldn't want him,coz if he was that easy to steal from his wife,then he'll be easily stolen from ME! Ok,I think I made my point. I just wanted 2 rant a bit. LOL
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