I'm just gonna make a list of prayers that actually HAVE been answered! a lot of my prayers go unanswered,but I have had some that were. I'm attempting to make my faith in God grow if it at all possible coz I'm having a crisis of faith,so here goes...the LIST...
Not the exact order of prayers either,and these r the only ones I remember atm..
1. Before Rob actually died, I woke up feeling so terrified (for no reason I can come up w/ for feeling that way) that something happened to him that I actually cried my eyes out and prayed over him constantly. I think when he didn't text me back was when the panic started to set in. Well after praying over and over that he would be ok,he finally,eventually texted me back,so I knew he was ok. false alarm.
2. Both when getting the job at Sam's and at Publix.
3. That I would do well in my interview at Publix coz I was a nervous wreck and have been so bad w/interviews lately.
4. When I was on my way to work (at Sam's),and my brakes weren't cooperating. fortunately, they didn't start messing up until I was already in the parking lot. I was going slow,but the car wouldn't stop,so I prayed there was nobody coming coz I blew right thru the stop sign.
5. I think I might have prayed about any chance I might have w/Rob since I was falling in love w/him and still scared to tell him..but I can't remember exactly. I did however,get my guy. =)
6. Ironically, my prayer was answered about calling off and LYING my ass off,so I could go to Emilee's grad party coz I am so SICK of missing out on family events. However,I felt intense anxiety the whole time and even the next day,but I didn't get in trouble at least. I hated lying to a certain guy I'm pretty much BFFs with,but I couldn't risk even telling HIM the truth considering the position he's in. Maybe the anxiety is God telling me, "I will cover for u and let u do this,but u will feel miserable and paranoid about it too. let this be a lesson to u about lying."
(who knows? I'm only guessing. I don't KNOW for SURE).
7. Ebony is constantly in and out of her spells and seems like she will die at any moment. I asked that she not go yet coz I can't handle all the deaths going on at 1 time still. particularly after losing Rob. =(
8. This 1 happened in a dream,and I was certainly a different person. It was like these ufos and/or planes or whatever they were were targeting ME. kinda like w/spirits only these were big air crafts dive bombing my yard/near my window,and it seemed like they were after ME. nobody else even saw/heard them. just me. I got so scared, I was shaking and crying and asking God to make them go away,and after a few minutes or so, I did stop hearing them,and they seemed to "vanish",yet I still felt paranoid throughout the rest of the dream,but they did NOT come back.
9. I think it was when I worked at Sam's,and I stupidly took a horseradish pill for spider veins. Anyway, after just clocking in for the day, I constantly felt like I was gonna hurl,and I PLEADED w/God for 30 minutes to make it stop: either vomit or leave me alone. It finally passed,and I lasted my whole shift after all.
10. I might have been praying the time I was pulled over too,and the cop only pulled me over to tell me I couldn't drive w/the high beams on(I had been speeding a little). Talk about a close call.
11. I didn't quite pray as much as I bitched( sorry, God =( ) when my buddy at work almost moved away coz his bf found a job opportunity in Orlando or something,and they were about to move away. I was so upset I admit. Seems like every guy I get close too(even in a non-romantic way) is eventually removed from my life,and I was upset. "First Rob now Jake too? r u gonna let me keep ANY of my friends/boyfriends?" Again-Sorry, God. Well I was making myself learn how to cope w/o him being there when I found out that, for whatever reason, Jake's bf didn't take the job,so they didn't move after all. That was sort of a prayer that was answered. Poor Jake tho. I think he really wanted to go,and his guy prolly had a great opportunity waiting for him too. Sorry Jake. =(
12. For the 1st time ever, I prayed to fall in love with an AMAZING guy who loves me,and I didn't want to hurt him because I didn't feel the same way. now I do,and we've been together 2 months now(September-Nov).
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