So I made the mistake of getting in touch w/Rob's family a few days ago. I was naive enough to think these people really accepted and thought of me as family. They sure treated me that way 2 years ago when I ws introduced to them. ya know I felt GUILTY for not maintaining contact w/them and when I finally did,the way his stepmother treated me was WRETCHED! u would think if u have a loss in common w/someone,then u and those people can help each other and maybe even might like to know how u have been all this time, etc etc. right?? don't u think?? I thought so,but this dingbat didn't even remember who I was,so I explained that I had been Rob's girlfriend,and she fucking attacks me. bitching about me using their name on facebook(well I thought Rob and I were in love and would have married 1 day + I thought it was a sweet way of cherishing his memory). oh noooooooo! she wouldn't stop bitching as if I committed this great crime and acts as if I am delibrately stirring up the pain again. Well, I miss him too..so she tells me to get over it coz he used me and didn't care about me and all this. really?? he sure didn't behave at ALL like a man who doesn't care about his lady,and I KNOW a man who doesn't give a shit for real. If that IS true, wow. that makes me feel like I can't trust men at all if 1 can be THAT good of an actor. He was so protective of me,and easily got upset. like EMOTIONAL when he thought I was betraying him somehow..would a guy who doesn't care about u go through all THAT just to put up a front?? sounds like too much effort just to deceive someone to me. I don't get it. He was VERY affectionate w/me. VERY. whenever he apologized to me,he would TIGHTLY hug me and rock me back and forth. is that the actions of a man who "USES" me? how about the fact he even bothered apologizing at all?? nothing adds up. I'm trying to figure out what her motivation for lying to me would be too. didn't this bitch used to say, "u coulda been my daughter-in-law?" I know she did. My friend,Gabrielle was there w/me that day. She can tell ya. whatever. the GOOD news tho...
I seemed to have found somebody anyway. Someone at work who started out as an acquaintance for so long suddenly out of the blue, started showing an interest in me. I was very hesitant and resistant at 1st,but now I am glad I surrendered and started hanging out w/him. I've been having a great time,and I'm def starting to like him. I get butterflies and a racing heart when we cuddle/hug. wow!! The best thing is he doesn't do drugs or drink. HALLELUJAH!! =D and as FAR AS I KNOW, he's not USING me or being deceptive at all. I hope not. I am so SICK of being made to regret giving a man my heart. I'm just over it. I'm over the lies,over the betrayal..over the heartache...if you're just gonna use and abuse me later..GO AWAY!! he seems like the real deal but after what I learned about Rob...how can I trust this guy either? how do I know who I can trust anymore? my trust issues only got WORSE!!! =( then again,my fears/anxieties/trust issues etc could kill my chance of having a good man. I fear that too. Please God don't let me ruin a good thing? if it really is a good thing. I just don't know anymore. =,(
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