Why DO I love him so much?

I've been asked what it is I see in him. Hell,I often ask MYSELF how I fell in love w/him. I will try to explain what it is that made me fall so damn hard. Well,for starters..it happened JUST to piss me off. God and the universe or whatever u believe in, decided that even tho I'm awkward in relationship. EVEN tho, I have anxieties when it comes to relationships and such..EVEN THO I have sworn off relationships and just wanted to focus on getting my education,my a career,my license,my dental work,and just in general,my FUTURE,that it was time to send a guy into my life once more,that would make lose my mind; my focus.

This guy is AMAZING!(at least he is when he's not in his pissy mood and ignoring me.) Where do I begin? I mean,yes he is REALLY cute! He's adorable! Dark hair and dark eyes,my fav. physical trait on a guy. He has a really cute smile too. Even tho he smokes,his teeth aren't nasty at all. lol He's sweet. VERY sweet! He's a gentleman,and he's old fashioned. Even HE has said he is kinda old-fashioned. He seemed kinda nice when I 1st met him after I started this job. He helped me out a little when I was new,telling me what I had to do,but I didn't think much about him coz I rarely ever saw him. But when he came back into the same area I worked and was W/me,I actually got a chance to get to know him,and I just LOVED him! ^_^ I think he's very sweet,and I love picking on him which he's ok w/. lol He said being weird is cool. OMG! def points in my book!! LOL! We often goofed off together on the are occasions we had simillar shifts. especially when we zoned certain areas of the store together,that was when we had REAL conversations. We'd goof on each other a little,but I also got him to open up some,and I found out some things about him. He has QUITE a bit in common w/ me. From having to be driven to work by dad coz of a lack of license(like me) to having fallen behind and struggles w/school till finally dropping out and getting a ged(AGAIN, like ME.) He struggles w/math..OMG! me too! lol I find him so easy to talk to; so fun to talk to as well. Not to mention whenever we r both leaving a room,even if I get to the door 1st,he will not let me hold the door for HIM! he always wants ME to go 1st! he's such a gentleman! ^_^

What really got me was the day another guy we work w/ made a sexual joke/comment IN FRONT of me(more specifically to do w/women),and my guy  got PISSED OFF! He didn't YELL or anything,but he got irritated. He pointed me out and told him there was a female standing right there; to not say stuff like that. It was inappropriate and disrespectful. I was a goner then. If I wasn't completely in love before,I was after that remark. When we walked away together,he was still bitching about it and then he suddenly says, "I guess I'm just a little old-fashioned." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I LOVE that!!!! ^_^ I was thinking,"DAMMIT!!! U JUST MADE ME FALL HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE W/U! THAT'S IT! I'M A GONER!" I SWEAR my head was SWIMMING! my heart was racing out of control,and I was trying to fight this huge grin that rapidly went across my face. He's so WONDERFUL!! ^_^  He also seems kinda shy. I feel like I could date him,and he would go real slow w/me; not pressure me. I just haven't figured how to tell him I'm crazy about him. I'm worried I'll chase him away; make him feel really awkward,and that's the LAST thing I want. =/ This is the kinda stuff I can't get out of my head for ANYTHING in the world! The only drawback as far as I can tell,is he gets in his MOODS and won't talk to ANY1! he'll flat out ignore u when he's in a bad mood. It sucks to try to talk to some1,and he ignores u. u feel like a retard; like ur talking to urself. It sucks! =( There's also a certain part of his past that another coworker let slip to me,so I even I shouldn't know,but I do. This thing,if it's true,must be so PAINFUL to him,I can't see him being able to give love another chance. I'd say he's even MORE closed off than I am. That broke my heart to hear that. I can kinda understand y he's always so damn MOODY! I pray for him quite often. My love for him has become a TERRIBLE,ACHE; it's even more painful having to squash it. I don't think I could EVER tell him my feelings knowing THAT happened to him. I can't say what it is/was coz I feel like I would be betraying so much,if I said what it was,so I won't. I hope I was able to explain enough,but I can never explain FULLY y it is I love him so much. I just do. =} ^_^