=(

jealousy SUCKS! I can't help it! I may need to do like my best friend did,and get the hell off facebook. or just delete the other friend since we never talk anyway. she is driving me NUTS! it's hard not 2 feel jealous. she still has HER boyfriend;I had to LOSE mine. =( apparently,they're getting married-AND he bought her a house.  Oh "joy". "GOOD FOR U!!" I also have to keep seeing such "cute; IN LOVE" couple pix of them. "awwww"- NOT! I feel jealous of couples anyway,but no other couple makes me jealous than those 2 because they remind me of me and my bf to a TEE! they met the same way; in the same place,developed feelings for each other LONG before they finally admitted to it,and HELL! HE even confessed 1ST!! JUST the way MY relationship started out. Oh "JOY"! rub it in my face ok? I "like" it! REALLY! Bring on the TORTURE! I'm USED to it! FUCK love! stupid temporary shit. always meant for some1 else but  never ME! just like wealth..always meant for some1 ELSE..never ME! that's for damn sure! now on to my next rant...lol.

annoying old coots who think just coz ur dumb enough to trust them w/venting ur pain; just because u LOSE ur boyfriend, u MUST be desperate; MUST be looking for a replacement; a new boyfriend. EW! the point is..it somehow got around to him I think that I am finding him a "little" creepy. now he wants to know if I "still have funny feelings." I just told him, "I still grieve at times, yeah." then walked away. I'm not talking to him. pure and simple. He doesn't AT ALL make me feel better about ANYTHING! PERIOD! ESPECIALLY not about my boyfriend. I'm sorry I have a REAL problem w/some1 who jumps my case because I bring uo my boyfriend a little "too much." AT THE SAME TIME, makes constant passes at me. I'm done! I need to go back to having just GIRL friends coz I can't trust guys. Guys are ALWAYS letting me down.Not JUST in relationships. IN GENERAL! I can't get something off my chest w/o a guy taking advantage of me in some way and/or just not giving a shit to begin with. The ONLY guy who's really been any ACTUAL help to me w/what I'm going thru is my pastor...then again, maybe it's because he's already MARRIED/SPOKEN FOR that he's not after me too. yet that doesn't explain the creep I deal w/ he's married too,yet makes the most inappropriate comments to me at times. or used to...before I stopped talking to him. I'll say hi to him sometimes,but I don't engage in conversation. every1 is sick of hearing me talk about my bf,and I'm sick the back lashes I get for trusting ANY1,so it's a win/win. I don't talk to certain ppl anymore,and they don't have to hear about my bf anymore..I also don't have to deal w/creepy old farts telling me creepy things. done. I'm gonna try harder to not get close to guys anymore. at all. my battered and bruised heart isn't capable of that type of love anymore. I'm done.

The 1 man I wanted; the 1 I decided was THE 1, died on me, so fuck it! I'm done! I'm sick of guys falling in love w/me when I'm in no condition to love back;I've always hated breaking hearts coz I've had MINE broken so damn many times, I've lost count. it sucks, dude. =,(
I'm tired of men old enough to be my FATHER and GRANDFATHER getting the hots for me! it's GROSS and CREEPY! I'm sick of these guys equating the grief I have over losing my bf w/ being desperate and dateless and thinking it's "time to snatch me up." I'm so SICK of guys right now! they just piss me off! I can't be JUST FRIENDS w/1 damn guy W/O getting the damn hots/crushing on me. LEAVE ME ALONE! y da HELL would u wanna be w/a girl who STILL MISSES and GRIEVES over her LAST boyfriend? WTF??!! =,( I'm just DONE. or I'm TRYING 2 be,but I just can't get this off my mind. =( T_T   I miss him sooooooooooooooo MUCH! =,(