Reasons I hate being in love

Reasons I hate being in love:
I hate how uptight I feel.I hate how I can never relax.I always feel happy/giddy and then angry and eventually....depressed.I can't stand how I can NEVER get enough of him and how blue I feel when I don't get to see him for a few days.I despise how when he gets in 1 of his moods and won't talk to anybody, it breaks my heart ,and I feel like it's something personal against ME; like he's tired of me already.I hate how I can't focus on anything at school,or I isolate my family bcoz HE is all I can think about,and HE is the 1 I want to spend all my time with.I hate how the stronger my feelings for him get, the deeper into insanity I go.I hate how I am terrified of being in a relationship again and just want this to go away, yet it makes me even more miserable keeping my feelings to myself.I wish I had the courage to tell him the truth.I wish I had the backbone to confess my feelings to him..not just think it and bite my tongue-but I wish I could just come right out and say it.I'm tired of living in fear and agony,but I don't want to suffer the same consequences w/him as I have suffered w/another..yet my feelings have grown all too strong and are making me CRAZY!I fear for the state of my mental health from wanting him so bad yet being too afraid to do anything about it.I hate how I seem to only find happiness when I am w/him.I hate even more the tears I shed when I think he is done with me; when I think I am going to lose him,and he's not even my boyfriend/husband.I hate fearing the consequences which, in turn causes me to harbor these feelings, and fight so hard to keep them covered,yet suffering the agony of keeping them to myself at the same time.I hate how I can't get any relief.I just hate everything about being in love,and I wish I could avoid it-not just now-but FOREVER!