what DO I think about?

All my coworkers are used to me smiling and being happy all the time,so when I DON'T smile they wanna know why? Sometimes,I don't smile because I'm depressed/pissed off,but other times I don't smile,but I don't frown,either. I just have no particular look on my face. This usually happens when I'm deep in thought. I tend to think..ALOT!  In fact.my thoughts are usually so MANY and so fast. ZIP! ZIP! kinda like that! I also tend to over think every thing. It can be REALLY annoying at times,and other times it saves me. I get so bored and miserable in certain situations,and having thoughts that never end; being easily distracted, makes my time speed up a little more for me. Anyway, 1 coworker told me to smile(because I wasn't smiling this 1 time.) I half made a joke about that to another coworker,about how "what? am I supposed to ALWAYS smile?" or something like that. He looked at me seriously and said,"ur usually smiling all the time." He asked me what was wrong. I told him I was fine. It was just that my mind was busy. Like I have a TON of thoughts. So many of them and they speed so much. It can kinda make me dizzy,and they're MY thoughts. lol! He then asked me what I was thinking about. I kinda figured I'd end up writing a whole book or exhausting myself trying to tell any1 the details of my thoughts. I really think I might be A.D.D,but I'm not sure. Maybe there's ANOTHER,more LOGICAL, explanation for why my brain spits out thoughts faster than cars on the highway. lol

Anyway,I'm gonna try not to make myself dizzy/exhausted/nauseous,or crazy. I'm gonna attempt to tell u what it is I think about: well....EVERY THING! I think about how much of a romantic I am at heart,and how I wish I could fall in love again but know I can't. I think about how I still have a crush on Grant Wilson(and still have fantasies about him. that's part of my thoughts.) I also have random crushes on some of the guys at work. I think about them,but I also wonder why it is I have more than 1 crush now. I didn't used to have a crush on more than 1 guy at a time like that. It's weird. I started off crushing on my manager and now,I think I am getting a crush on a coworker I work very close w/. We don't just work the same store; we work the same department,too. I also think about my best friend and how much I miss her. I think about getting my license,so I can do my OWN driving finally. I get alot of songs playing in my head at random times. Sometimes I sing along to them. My mind races over what I have to get done and how I'm gonna do it. Every thing from at home situations,to school,to work,to the crushes I have; fantasies I have about spending time w/the guy I like; inventing stories in my head that I actually write out as a comic/poem,or I don't write at all but just keep DAY DREAMING about! I also get certain dreams that will keep coming back to me at random times during the day,and I think about those too,trying to analyze them; trying to interpret them.

I think about my future and what I wanna do. I keep waffling back and forth on what I wanna do w/my life. I often wonder why I am here; what is my purpose. I often feel like I have no purpose. I think about my teeth because I worry about them. I worry about the damage that is being done to them from the wisdom teeth. I especially worry based on the PAIN I'm in,alot. These are all things I THINK about. I've even thought about rather I wanna have children or not. I'm TERRIFIED of pregnancies because of what they DO to the body,yet I don't wanna get fixed either because I MIGHT decide I wanna have children after all. I just think and think and think till it makes my head spin,but I STILL can't seem to slow down the constant stream of thoughts I have. My mind is ALWAYS busy. Even in my sleep I think. I know I still haven't mentioned EVERY THING I think about but if I tried to put down EVERY THING I think about, my head would spin,and I would be here all night typing endlessly in this blog. And to those of u that actually READ this,UR heads would be spinning too. As it is,I've typed ALOT so if u've managed to read this far, congratulations! lol