so here's the dealy-oh! as fucking USUAL,whenever something or SOME1 makes me happy, life has 2 take that away from me! EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!!!! >=0 My boyfriend..my AMAZING boyfriend who I've been blogging about on here for MONTHS!! almost a YEAR..FUCKING DIED on Saturday! brillaint aint it?? ironically, my most recent post was on Thursday-the last time I saw him in person. I got my last kiss and hug w/him..the only hug and kiss I'll ever get from him coz he's GONE!! fucking brilliant! he was released form the hospital Friday,and he talked and texted w/me then,and I talked to him 1 more time on Sat. literally right before I went to work,but the call got dropped on us. he never called back,and neither did I. (I wish I had.) I decided I needed 2 get 2 work,and I didn't get off work till 9. well..9:30 or 10 rolls around,and I think I'm getting a call from my man coz the call was from HIS phone,but it wasn't HIM! it was his FATHER telling me that Rob just died earlier that day. He had him rushed to the hospital,but they couldn't revive him. He was unconscious..today I spoke w/Rob's step mom,and she told me his lips were blue,and he had a lot of foam in his mouth. Brilliant. I've been crying on and off again for all those days..including some today,but now here it's 4 in the morning, I'm wide awake and very much pissed off. I'm glad for that coz I'm SICK of crying. I'm MAD AS HELL! I feel like, y the FUCK was such an AMAZING man sent into my life JUST so he could be taken from me so shortly? u know what else is fucked up??? Rob's step mom told me a bunch of times how I could have been her daughter-in-law. I've thought of that myself,and it's eating me up like acid to know that that will NEVER happen now.
She ALSO asked me if I was pregnant,and I could tel she was HOPING for it coz it would def be the last bit of "Rob" either of us have. I don't even WANT 2 get prego or none of that,but a part of me wishes I HAD gone all the way w/Rob and HAD gotten prego,so that I too would have "a piece" of Rob left. Right now I just feel like, "u know what, life? u just love 2 FUCK me..well guess what? FUCK U RIGHT BACK!! FUCK U!!!!!!" >=0 Fuck u and all the hurt u caused A LOT of ppl! FUCK U!! u stole the love of my life away from me. u stole away a nice man's(who, like me, bent over BACKWARDS 2 try and help Rob out w/everything) son, u stole away 2 women's younger brother,and FINALLY, u stole away 2 boys's father! 2 boys who haven't seen their father in 2 YEARS!! and now they'll NEVER see him again! FUCK U!!! just FUCK U!!!! >=0 I actually LIKE Rob's dad,and I've had my moments where I thought, "I would LOVE to have him as a my father-in-law. He's a really sweet guy. I can see where his son gets it." But, no U just couldn't let ANY of that happen. U know what life, u've fucked me over w/SO many things,but this 1 just takes the fucking cake! I was NEVER able to have the guy! EVER! but this was just downright EVIL! instead of him not reciprocating my feelings,or him breaking up w/me,or cheating on me, he had to DIE! he had 2 fucking DIE! FUCK U! I hope ur happy. because of this last failed attempt at true love..a DRASTIC failed 1 at that, I'm fucking done. I don't want any1 else. I don't ever wanna be in love w/another man,coz u'll just take HIM from me too I'm sure. Even if I manage to love again, I'll just end up either never getting the guy,or I'll get him for a SHORT time,and then he'll just be taken from me too. he'll either turn into an asshole,get sick of me,break up w/me,cheat on me, or maybe HE will die too just like Rob. FUCK U! Cupid or whoever/WHATEVER fate decides I need 2 be in love..LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE FROM NOW ON! DON'T U EVER-I MEAN EVER CAUSE ME 2 FALL IN LOVE AGAIN! U HEAR ME??!! FUCK U! LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M SICK OF PAYING A HEAVY PRICE FOR FALLING IN LOVE! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! FOREVER! I'm gonna be the crazy cat(or dog) lady who never finds any1 coz that's what I'm meant for, obviously! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!! >=0 =,( I'm SICK of being robbed of my happiness(no pun intended).=,( T_T
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