Fall is such a bummer,not at all what I hoped for. =(

Is there some unseen force somewhere that just DOES NOT want me to be happy?? I feel like the closer I get to accomplishing something,the further I am pushed away from it to the point I either have start back at point A,or give up entirely. I know in my last blog,I had talked about how anxious I was for the fall to start, so I could see this certain guy again. I feel blessed to have made friends w/such an awesome person =) and I hate to say it,er admit to it,but dammit I fell in love with him! *groans* not cool man and def not fair! >.<  I was hoping I would see him this semester, but I have't seen him AT ALL! =(

 I am there 4 days a week all morning and most of the afternoon and I NEVER seen him. I have seen almost every1else from the spring atleast ONCE,but not him. I literally haven't seen him since about 2 months ago when I was in Target,right before he quit. Yep. Don't even have THAT way to see him anymore. He no longer works at Target. So depressing. -_- I have even stayed at school at night,hoping to run into him THEN,in case he goes at night now,but no such luck. =( I think 1 of the hardest things I am dealing w/now also, is while I had been crushing on him and falling in love w/him this whole time he had, had a girlfriend. Yep. Blew my mind away. I never knew that. I thought for sure,and so did my friends when I told them how he was around me,that he had a thing for me,but I was wrong.

He is JUST a really nice guy,that's it! didn't mean anything. They're broken up NOW, but the whole time I knew him, and THOUGHT he kinda liked me...he had a girlfriend. It's kind of a bummer-kinda hurts even tho they're not together NOW. I mean dude-he's back on the market! I call DIBS! =D Also,almost every guy I have ever liked,KNEW IT! I dunno when or HOW they find out,but they almost all,always,find out! So,if he knew, then he would have known I was flirting w/him right? I was so OBVIOUS! I mean,I was afraid I was,so y didn't he TELL ME he had a girlfriend instead of letting me (unintentionally) flirt w/ and sorta hit on a guy that was TAKEN?? If I find out he DOES know,and HAS known all this time I am DEF gonna ask y da hell he never told me had a gf? lol