ok..so last night I was feeling very depressed..like the way I've been on and off again since the love of my life died. I've been reading in the bible,and there is so much scripture that does indeed back up the beliefs of the jehovah's witnesses that we don't go anywhere when we die. we just "sleep"..or cease to exist. That is DEPRESSING to me. All my life, I was taught by almost every church I went to that UPON dying..we all go straight to heaven or hell. If u are saved; accepted Jesus's salvation, u get to be w/him in heaven,and go to hell if u didn't accept it, which means u have to pay for ur OWN sins because u refused to let Jesus do that for u,so u r in hell because u r AWAY from Jesus;away from God,so all hope,peace,love, etc no longer exists for u.
Nope. That's not QUITE how it goes. It is,but it doesn't happen upon death. =( Until, I met some jehova's witnesses at my job, I never thought any other way. They told me that we ALL be resurrected at the same time when Jesus comes back to regin the world and judge us...at the end times..until then,we just "sleep". our souls don't go ANYWHERE... are thoughts DO indeed go out like the rest of us. I know, I'll never know it anyway,but the thought of my existance completely ceasing makes me DEPRESSED! I liked the idea of their being other dimensions and a spirit world that we would go to UPON death,but nope. life truly ends when life ends. =(
The odd thing is I was so upset I was kinda in tears,and I didn't go to bed until 5 this morning..but the time I finally went to sleep..I actually had a dream about being in the beginning of the end times. Nobody was in danger YET,but there were certain things going in the dream;certain things I read about that all pointed to the signs of Jesus's return,and I was panicking coz I knew what would happen. I read both "revelations" and the left behind books,and I was terrified. I was trying to warn ppl,and let them know what would happen,but everybody was too calm. Even Ted and Sherry-my friends, were waaay too calm about it.
my CHRISTIAN friends were not taking me seriously. I asked them, " have u ever read the left behind books? this is how it starts." Sherry was giggling and all over the place like a child or a high person...Ted shrugged and told me "Sherry's drunk." I couldn't understand y no1 was LISTENING to me! even my christian friends weren't listening to me,and I was soooo frustrated and losing my mind on every1. They all looked at me as if to say, "just relax. life's good. nothing's gonna happen. we'll be FINE." I was the only 1 who saw the seriousness of the situation.
I think I wanna tell my pastor about this dream because of not only the fact I got it,but the TIMING of which I got it. I would love to hear what HIS take on this is. I know of all the bad things scriptures foretells happening before Jesus returns,and I don't wanna be here when/if that happens,yet I don't like the idea of my very existance ceasing either. although..between the 2..I think I'd rather cease to exist than to go thru what they go thru in the novels,and is supposed to happen for REAL. It's NOT just fiction!! The only reason I can enjoy horror movies/books is because they r FICTION!!! if it becomes REAL..it's gonna be a NIGHTMARE!!! =( I don't think this is something(altho it COULD be)God showed me just because of how upset I was over this ceasing to exist nonsense,but I do have to wonder about the timing of the dream,yet I would think it would be some sort of vision if it came straight from God wouldn't it? wouldn't it seem so VIVID,and be something I could never shake; forget for even a little a while,yet it has the same effect on me all dreams do..sometimes I remember it,and at other times, I don't think about it at all.
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