I knew I wasn't meant for relationships

this happens every time doesn't it? I fall in love and pay the price for it,and it's a HEAVY price!
all good guys eventually turn sour don't they? it doesn't last! ever! no matter what I do, it'll never be good enough for u. u act like u can't stand seeing me upset and beg me to come over or call u then "apologize",but then u turn right back around and hurt me again. fuck it! fuck u. and fuck love! I'm DONE! do u understand? DONE! love SUCKS! there is no such thing as "true love." our relationship is always on the rocks because u won't trust me; u won't listen to me when I tell u how it is. how come when we were friends u would listen to me? u would be understanding and sweet,but as a couple u started trusting me less and treating me more like shit? maybe this was a bad idea-we shoulda just stayed friends,but I guess that was impossible considering we both had such strong feelings for each other. there is def no winning and NO peace when u fall in love. ur doomed to become mental,emotional,depressed,bawl ur eyes out,stress out, etc. when u fall in love. y couldn't we just be friends? y did we have to fall in love w/each other and complicate EVERYTHING??!! I wanna stop crying all the time. I wanna stop stressing over rather we will stay together or not. I know ur supposed to fight SOMETIMES in a relationship but not as much as we have. we fight ALL the time it seems. we're hanging on by a thread. and even tho I'm stressed out and getting hurt so much, I still keep fighting-trying to save US because I love u so much, I don't want 2 lose u. I've been feeling this way since before u were even mine and now that u R mine, I'm even more determined through sweat and tears or whatever else 2 keep u. I LOVE u. PLEASE work w/me,and don't leave me?? I wouldn't cry and bitch u out if I didn't care. I wouldn't get upset AT ALL. I'd just shrug my shoulders and walk away. I wish I could do that,but u have my heart,and u have it clenched w/an iron fist that I just can't get thru. Please just TRUST me,and stick by my side. I may be awkward and shy..and terrible at kissing and just plain sucky w/relationships,but I promise u I'll love u more than any other girl ever has or will. I will be so much better 2 u than ur past girlfriends-and I HAVE. I've been hurt too,and u helped heal that. it makes me depressed that I can't do the same for u.